Trench Baby Diet

When I grew up in the trenches (poverty), I'd eat some weird things. To this day, I still eat some weird things.

They say you can take the baby out of the trenches, but you can never take the trenches out of the baby. Except, I'm not a baby; I'm a grown man.

One of my signature appetizers was a bowl of tortilla chips drowned in lime juice and copious amounts of salt. Mind you, the tortilla chips were already salted. I've probably done irreparable damage to my heart, but the makeshift lime chips were hitting.

Another special gourmet cuisine was Taki sandwiches. I'd take bolillo bread and then barely slice it down the middle to make a pocket. In that pocket, I'd stuff a serving of Takis. When I open up my own restaurant, this will be what makes me famous.

Lastly, and this isn't even that weird, I'd take saltine crackers and drown them in Salsa Valentina. I'd eat this over many things, like sushi and a hamburger. But again, I've probably knocked 10 years off my life as a consequence.

I don't know if this counts as a thought, but it's good to reflect on eating habits.